


higher when i'm heavy

by darkjoshler



Category: Fall Out Boy, Halsey (Musician), Multi-Fandom, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Paramore, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, M/M, Multi, dema, jumpsuit, nico and the niners, tower of silence, trench, tyler is a rebel and it's hot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-06-17 14:39:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15463605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkjoshler/pseuds/darkjoshler
Summary: A DEMA Story.





	1. 1201. Joseph.

**Author's Note:**

> hhHHEERREEee we go!

Nothing was ever as it seemed. A fact that Tyler had had to live with his whole life. DEMA made it so. Made it so that everyone Tyler thought he knew, everyone he thought he could trust, turned on him the second the Bishops needed them too. Made it so that, even in a place where he was under constant surveilance, Tyler felt fully and completely alone.

"1201. Joseph."

"Ah Tyler, I see you're finally cooperating."

Tyler didn't acknowledge the statement, just stared coldly back into grey, dead eyes. He'd been brought to the tower for cleansing, as they called it. For most, cleansing was an opportunity to rid their beings of sin, rebellious thoughts or loss of faith in the Bishops. But for Tyler, who really didn't like making it that easy for them, it was usually just plain, old torture.

"What do you have to confess?"

Tyler let out a breath of amusement, knowing full well what would happen if he opened his mouth. "I don't regret anything. Not the breach, not the uprising, not my sacrifice, nothing."

Isden chuckled. "You speak so triumphantly for someone that failed so pathetically."

"I didn't fail."

"Yet you're still here."

"I'm here so they don't have to be. Not everyone can get out."

"And what makes you so sure that they did?"

Tyler ran his fingers along the blade in his pocket. "They had to."

Isden got up from his throne-like chair and walked over to the small window out of the cleansing chamber. "Have you had contact with them since they left?"

"I had no way."

"Then you have no way of knowing, but I do. Our Watchers have eyes everywhere, we have eyes everywhere. No one ever gets out of here Tyler, except down the river and you know where that heads. It's definitely not towards the happy ending you wished upon your band of rebels."

Tyler bolted up from his chair and charged at the Bishop, holding his blade with steady hands. Two guards ran at him, trying to restrain him, but with one swift movement, the rebel sliced one of their necks and had the other in a headlock, the blade pressed harshly just below his jaw. "Tell me where they are Isden, or I'll show you just how many sacrifices I'm willing to make."

"Alright, okay I will... Just as soon as you realise that I don't care about two guards. I have hundreds, and each of the Bishops have hundreds more. They mean just about as much to me as you do. So go ahead, kill him, as you slice his neck, another shall be born from his blood."

"Then I'll kill him too."

"Will you? I think we should see what Andre has to say about that." Before Tyler could protest, a cloth was pressed over his mouth and nose, and he was forced to breath in a chemical scent as four guards ran at him. The final words he heard were "Tell Andre to disfigure him, the way he disfigured their faith." before he slipped into darkness.

-

When he awoke, he was in a cell. Trying to move rendered no result, and as he looked down he saw he was buckled into a chair. No one was there, no guards, no one. He'd been here before, countless times. The Bishops called him a heretic due to the violent way he'd rejected their authority and his own faith. Torture was their favourite way of getting people to surrender. It was as if DEMA didn't know the word peace, either that or they just ignored the concept. Tyler knew what was coming for him. "Andre! I know you're there. Do your worst. My job's been done."

"Has it Tyler?" A voice came from the shadows. Tyler felt like he was surrounded by it, but yet he couldn't work out exactly where it was coming from. "Isden warned me about your delusions. You honestly think they're still alive?"

"I know they're still alive."

"What proof do you have?"

"They're soldiers. What proof do you have that they're not?"

Andre emerged from the corner of the cell, dressed in his red robe. He had his hood down, and his head was shaved, revealing tribal tattoos, the symbols of DEMA. Tyler had always had his suspicions about Andre, there was a rumour that he'd been a prisoner of DEMA, but had surrendered to the Bishops and declared his undying faith by getting his body covered in the Origin tattoos. He was younger than the others, and stronger - his skill set was greatly valued among the older, weaker Bishops, as it gave them an opportunity when fighting the rebels where previously they had been severely lacking brawn. He was merciless, blood-thirsty and fought in a way that made Tyler sure he was something other than human. "You want my proof?" He approached Tyler, bringing his hands to his eyes, they were covered in the sacred ink, which allowed the wearer to translate their memories to whoever's eyes they touched. He pressed his thumbs into Tyler's eye sockets. "Tell me if this is proof enough for you."

_"Head east, through the caves. That way, if they're near you, you can hide. Don't use your weapons until you have to, if they see you're armed they'll send in Andre and Sacarver, and you'll be dead within seconds. You have to move fast, but there's strength in numbers so make sure you stick together. I'll hold them off." Tyler had been planning this for months, and now, a group of soldiers were ready to breach the perimeter, and fight if they had to. He knew what he had to do, and he was willing to sacrifice everything if it meant that they'd get out, and away from here._

_"Tyler."_

_"Jenna."_

_"You're not coming with us?"_

_Tyler sighed, walking towards her. He brought his hands to her cheeks and lifted her head to look at him. "Listen to me. You know that was always the plan Jenna. I'll be right behind you. Always."_

_"Please be careful. I don't think I could survive on the outside without you."_

_"I swear."_

_"I love you. "_

_"I love you. More than life itself." He kissed her, gently, yet with more passion and desperation than he had ever kissed her before. If he died, this is how he wanted her to remember him. Strong, and so in love with her that he'd give his life for hers._

_"Now you have to go." He said, stroking her hair and wiping a tear that strayed from her eye with his thumb. "I'll see you soon." He pinned a yellow flower to her jacket, and prayed it would take it's effect in enough time._

_They left, Tyler watched her walk away, but only for a short time before he was sent running back down the river. He knew the Watchers were close, they were never far from him. It was then that he heard the horn sound. It was them, alerting the Bishops of a perimeter breach. He'd planned for more time than this, but he'd have to work with it. He could hear them, the sounds of the cavalry advancing. He kept running, praying he was in plain sight so they'd chase him instead._

_He thought they were safe in the caves. He hadn't seen Andre and Sacarver with the cavalry so he'd naively rejoiced in the fact that they couldn't have been there. But of course they were, and how could he have fallen for such a simple trap. They were heading east, hunting Tyler's fellow rebels, his friends, his love. And when they found them, huddled in the caves, they watched the life drain from their eyes as they slaughtered every last one._


	2. there's someone coming. he'll save you all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> introducing some NeW aNd ExCiTiNg ChArAcTeRs

_"Tyler, it's time to wake up." Jenna spoke, gently stroking his face. In his half-awake state, he could see the sun through his eyelids, feel it's heat on his skin. Her hand felt soft, comforting. He could smell the flowers around him - Euryops. They were a sign of the rebellion, yet brought such peace in times like this. He could stay like this forever._

"Tyler. I mean...1201."

He jolted awake to see a woman - not Jenna - about his age stood at the foot of his bed, making notes on a clipboard. 

"Welcome back." She spoke calmly, placing the clipboard down and walking over to sit on a chair next to his bed. "I'm Hayley - um - D-Dr Williams, they said you have to call me Doctor." 

Tyler sighed, staring at her blankly. "Lemme guess, the Bishops told you not to get on a first name basis with the rebel scum."

"Something like that."

"Are you afraid of me?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you're tied to the bed."

Tyler looked down to see that she was right, thick black buckles bound his hands and feet to the railings of the hospital bed. 

"And because you've got two cracked ribs, a broken collarbone and severe concussion. I'm more afraid of you vomiting on me than killing me."

He chuckled, then groaned as a sharp pain shot through his lungs. "Andre got me pretty good, huh?" 

"You could say that yeah."

Tyler looked at her, she had bright eyes, but her sockets were sunken in. Her hair was platinum blonder and thrown back into a bun that looked as if it had been there for a few days. She looked tired, but not yet broken. "You're new?"

"How'd you know?"

"You're still somewhat a human being." 

"And you're not?"

"Not with the things I've seen."

She smiled kindly, understandingly. "You've been out for a few days. Sounded like you were having some pretty intense dreams. Who's Jenna?"

Tyler looked at her. The name sounded strange coming out of anyone else's mouth. "She's my girl- was my girlfriend."

"Oh. Did you guys break up?"

Tyler chuckled sadly. "No. She was the love of my life, I was gonna marry her when we got out of this place." 

"So what happened?" 

"I was trying to help them get out. There was a group of us, rebels, older couples that just wanted to experience freedom in their final years, kids, Jenna. I’d planned it for months, yet I fell for the most obvious trap. I sent them the safest way I knew, thought I’d thought of everything. But Andre and Sacarver found them in the caves... massacred them all. It was my fault." 

"It’s not your fault Tyler." 

"Yes it is." 

"It’s not. Believe me. I know how you feel."

"How could you possibly know how I feel?" 

"Because it happened to me. My parents were rebels like you. They escaped before I was born. A few weeks ago, the Bishops found out they were alive and sent guards to kill them. They were murdered right in front of my eyes, they tore them limb from limb, in our home. I watched my father’s head roll past my feet. I was a witness, and although I’d rather they’d just killed me, they thought I could be of use, so they brought me here." 

"But this is worse, huh?" 

"So much worse." She smiled sadly, and Tyler understood. He was safe with her. At least for now. The heavy bolt on the cell door opened, and a guard walked in. Hayley turned to greet him, standing up straight, yet still cowaring slightly. "Hello."

"Nico would like to speak with you."

"N-Nico?"

"Yes, he thinks it's time you were taught the correct customs, and how to interact with certain people, Doctor. This way."

Hayley shot a concerned look at Tyler before following the guard out of the door, who shut the bolt firmly behind him with a thud. Tyler felt the effects of his concussion soon after, as the room began to spin viciously, he closed his eyes, trying to make it stop, and soon fell back to sleep again.

_"Hey Ty, how you feelin'?" She asked, her blonde hair drifting in the gentle breeze._

_"Broken." Tyler said with a half-laugh. "Better. I don't know. I'm sorry Jenna."_

_"It's okay." She spoke softly, a sad smile playing at her lips._

_They were back in the field. The sun was setting in the sky, giving the cloud a purplish-orange hue. The Euryops surrounded them, thousands of them as far as the eye could see. Beyond the horizon he could see the mountains at the edge of the tower, far enough away to be comforting. She was wearing a sun-dress, and she was glowing. He wanted to stay here._

_"It's not okay Jenna. I wanted you to have a life. I wanted to have a life with you, but I didn't care a bit about myself when it came to your happiness. I just wanted you to get out. And now I just wish Andre had killed me so I could be here with you."_

_"You can't die Tyler. Not yet."_

_"Why not.? You were my reason for living Jenna. You kept me alive in there."_

_"Well now you've got a new reason. There's someone coming, and he'll save you all. But he needs you alive. He's been looking for you, he's been here the whole time, you were asleep. Time to wake up."_

Tyler awoke this time to voices shouting outside his cell. 

"State your name as we call your number. Don't disobey or you'll never see the light of day again. 0412."

"Brendon Urie." 

"0223."

"Sarah Urie." 

"Take her to C. Say goodbye to your wife 0412."

"You're not fucking taking her anywhere." A voice spoke, presumably Brendon.

"Shut your fucking mouth rebel pig." 

"Fuck you. Hey! Get your fucking hands off her." 

A carcophony of voices sounded, until a scream rose above the noise, followed by silence.

"Get back in line! Learn your place pigs or you'll go with him to Andre. 0513."

"Debby Ryan."

"0929."

"Ashley Frangipane."

"0605."

"Peter Wentz."

"0427."

"Patrick Stump."

"And last, but certainly not least. The leader of your little gang. 0618."

Silence.

"I suggest you speak up fucker."

"Joshua Dun." A voice spoke reluctantly, a hint of sarcasm in his tone.

"Ah Joshua. We've missed you. Now pigs, did you really think we wouldn't find you. You thought you were all safe huh? You could live normal lives, pretend this never happened. Get married? How fucking dumb are you? Did the torture hurt your little brains? Well, we're not letting you out of our sight this time. Welcome back to hell. Lock 'em up."

The riot ensued once again but soon died down as Tyler presumed they were all locked away or dead. He wished death upon them all. It would be better than the soul-crushing reality of coming back to this place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow


	3. so many questions, so little time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is shitty, just thought i'd let you know.

"Come on. Up."

Tyler was shaken awake by rough hands on his shoulders. He groaned. "What the hell man? Can't a guy sleep of his concussion in peace?"

"No you lazy fucker, wake up."

Tyler reluctantly opened his eyes to see a guard. He looked familiar, which was strange, Tyler never seemed to see the same guard twice. He quickly studied the man to see he was wearing a full guard's uniform, but with a yellow band wrapped around his upper left arm. "Yellow?" He asked, confused and wide-eyed.

"There's no time to explain, we have to go. Now." The man secured a band of yellow tape around Tyler's sleeve and pulled him out of bed and out of his cell.

Walking down the corridor Tyler noticed most of the cell door were open, an unusual occurence within the tower. "What's going on? Why are you hiding from them? Why are you hiding _me?_ How do you know?"

"So many questions, so little time."

"Don't give me that cryptic bullshit."

"You should be more grateful - I'm saving your ass."

Tyler pulled his arm out of the man's grip and stopped walking. " _Grateful?_ Do you know the shit I've been through in here? You better tell me where the fuck you're taking me or I swear to God I'll-."

"Fine, jesus keep your voice down. There's still probably guards around here somewhere. Josh told me not to tell you too much incase we couldn't trust you. There's something big coming, we have to be prepared. I've been waiting for the right time, and now their back. So we have to attack while it's still fresh, while we're still in plain sight."

"Who's they?"

"The Banditos."

" _Banditos?_ " Tyler mocked with a small chuckle.

"They were just like you, Heretics. Rebels. They escaped about five years ago, completely under the radar of the Bishops. They left no trail, alerted no guards, not even the Watchers had eyes on them. No one really knows how they did it. It's like they just disappeared, and people are just forgotten here, so no one even noticed they were gone until like three weeks later when the guards did cell checks and their's were empty. They managed to keep hidden this whole time. Brendon and Sarah got married, Patrick and Pete finally got to be together without being punished for sinning, and Ashley and Debby... they're just them."

"How'd they get caught?"

The man took a breath, as if figuring out how he was going to word what he was about to say. Then he shook his head, and took Tyler's arm again. "I think that's Josh's story to tell." Just as Tyler stated to protest, they arrived at a door. "Don't fuck up. I know you're who Josh has been looking for, but I don't think he believes me yet." He pushed open the door and pulled Tyler inside, securely bolting it behind him.

Tyler looked around to see people dotted around the room. He immediately spotted Hayley sat at a table, looking nervous in her still-not-broken kind of way. A man (who Tyler's guide introduced as "Brendon.") was sat on the floor with his knees pulled to his chest, he had two black eyes and a bandage on the side of his neck. A woman ("Sarah.") sat beside him with her hands in her lap, staring straight ahead. Her eyes were sunken in and irritated. She looked angry in the most vunerable kind of way. In the centre of the room, another man ("Pete.")  was sprawled out on a metal table, throwing a rock against the ceiling and catching it as it fell, narrowly avoiding a bash to the face each time, almost daring himself to let it hit him. Next to him, another man ("Patrick.") sat on a chair, his head lazily resting on his hand, watching the rock as it flew up and down, wincing slightly each time it fell and just missed the thrower. In front of the table, two girls sat together on the floor. One of them ("Debby.") rested her head in the lap of the other ("Ashley."), who played with her hair, quietly humming to herself. To Tyler's left, he saw another guard stood leaning against the wall ("my brother, Mikey.").

It was then that another man emerged from a door towards the back of the room. He had neon yellow hair, and in contrast to the other members of the 'group' - who were all sporting the same, yellow bands around their upper arms - he wore a yellow cross over his heart, and a band around his leg, just about his knee cap. He had a yellow mask on, which he pulled down around his neck whilst walking towards Tyler. He looked broken in a badly-fixed kinda way. He also looked like Tyler was the last person he wanted to see.

"Really Gerard?" He asked, a look of pure disgust on his face.

"This is him." The guard beside Tyler - that he could now put a name to - spoke.

"I told you. We don't want anyone else, we can't trust anyone else."

"We have to give him a chance Josh."

Josh. _Joshua_. 0618. The 'leader'.

"We don't have time to give people chances."

"You can trust him."

"How do _I_ know that?"

"He's a Heretic. He's a rebel."

"Andre must really hate him judging by the state he left him in. I've only seen him do that to people that deny their faith." Hayley piped up from across the room, offering Tyler a small smile.

"That's not enough." Josh spat, his face still cold and stern, his eyes seeming to bore into Tyler's soul.

"What do you want?" Tyler spoke softly.

"I want you to kill. A guard. I want you to show me you're willing."

"Oh I'm willing." Tyler challenged, a smirk playing at his lips. "I'll kill _ten_ guards if it means getting out of this place."

The room fell silent, and Tyler noticed that all eyes were on the interaction occuring, but he wouldn't break, not until Josh did.

"We're not just getting out." The yellow haired man spoke. "We're gonna burn this fucking place to the ground."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you've got this far, i not only thank you, but applaud you.


	4. i think i trust you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is trash but it's my trash.

It had been a week since Tyler was introduced to the Banditos, and since the meeting, he hadn't seen any of them. He'd been under the impression that now he was part of some 'secret society' that he'd be constantly under their watchful eye, but that certainly hadn't been the case. So he'd gotten into a routine: work, eat, sleep... and try not to cause any trouble, as Josh had instructed. 

It had worked pretty well for him, until the seventh day, when he was chopping wood in the yard, and somehow ended up in the dirt after being shoved roughly by a man that called him 'rebel scum'. A guard. Before Tyler could comprehend what was going on, or choose to control his temper and stay under the radar of the Bishops, he'd swung his axe into the guard's leg, leaving him bleeding on the ground as a fight broke out between other workers and more guards. 

Tyler was pulled back from the riot, by a man he was ready to hit, until he heard the words "Josh wants to see you." Gerard. The faux-guard half-led, half-pulled Tyler away from the fight, and back into the main tower building, where Josh was waiting in a room. 

"Thanks Gerard." The man said as Tyler followed Gerard in. "I'll see you later." Gerard nodded and left them alone. The room was silent for a few moments before Josh cleared his throat. "I thought I told you to stay out of trouble."

Tyler scoffed. "You want me to act like a little bitch. How do you expect me to survive in here if I can't stand up for myself?" He challenged, a sarcastic smirk playing at his lips.

"Standing up for yourself is fine Tyler, but you just started a fucking riot! If you could manage to not kill someone for a couple weeks then maybe you wouldn't have to 'survive in here'." Josh retorted, his voice raised slightly. It was the first time Tyler had seen him show any real emotion. 

" _You_ were the one that told me to kill a guard." The brunette argued.

"I'm almost certain that that wasn't for me. That was for you... because you wanna make them pay for your mistakes." 

" _My_ mistakes?" Tyler spoke in a dull whisper, almost daring the yellow haired man to say what he was planning to say.

"The twenty-something rebel lives you took when you failed to help them escape."

With every spark of anger in his body, Tyler charged at the man, grabbing him by the neck and pushing him up against the wall. Josh just laughed, angering Tyler even further.

"What are you gonna do, kill me? Refuse even more people their chance at a life outside this place, just because someone called you out, and you can't control your temper?"

_"Don't Tyler. You need him."_ A voice spoke, a voice Tyler recognised immediately as someone who could talk him down from anything.

"Goddammit." Tyler breathed, releasing his grip around the man's neck and turning away, heading towards the door.  

"That's it? No empty threats, no unneccessary violence? Not even a little blood?" Josh chuckled, rubbing at his neck slightly.

"Believe me, I'd be more than happy to beat the shit out of you... But she doesn't want me to."

" _She_? You got voices in your head Joseph?" The yellow haired man laughed, mocking the brunette.

"I guess you could call it that. But for whatever reason she wants you alive."

"Great. Y'know, I said Brendon was more than up to filling the role of 'crazy person with an uncontrollable temper'. But apparently Gerard didn't think he could do it by himself." 

"I think you're forgetting that those 'voices' are what stopped me from killing you." Tyler retorted, still defensive of the woman he loved.

"That's not what stopped you." Josh spoke, his voice low, on the verge of anger but not quite. He flashed Tyler a small, lopsided and mocking smirk before the door opened and the rest of the group burst in. "For fuck sake, can't I leave you guys alone for a few seconds?" The man said, annoyance evident in his tone.

"Brendon hit someone." Patrick spoke, flustered. The rest of the group laughed and joked in amusement, all except for Brendon, who sported a scowl and a split lip to replace the fading wounds caused by Andre only a week or so beforehand. 

"I finish dealing with one bratty kid and now you bring me another one? What happened?" Josh demanded.

"Some guy asked Sarah if she could pass him the shovel." Ashley laughed.

"He was flirting." Brendon argued from the corner, where Sarah was dabbing at his bloodied nose with a wet cloth. 

"Oh of course, I'm sorry. I don't know about you Deb but someone asking me for a gardening utensil - gets me every time." The blue haired girl spoke sarcastically, throwing an arm around Debby, who snorted with laughter at her friend's joke. The noise of the group's amusement filled the room until Josh's voice broke the happy tone.

"I'm glad you all find this so funny! God, I honestly think I'm the only person who fucking cares about getting out of here. From the looks of it you guys would rather dick around than actually make some fucking effort to help me plan this thing."

"We're just tryna have some fun dude." Pete spoke defensively. "It's fucking depressing in here."

"Am I the only one who realises that the sooner you stop acting like fucking children, the sooner we can get out of this shit hole? It's not rocket science guys!" He was yelling now, visibly mad. His jaw clenched as he spoke, making everyone in the room, even Tyler, a little nervous. He walked across the room, sitting on the metal table against the back wall. With his voice calmer, he spoke. "I'm not doing anything else for us until I can tell that you're willing, because if you can't take this seriously I-... I've already lost Jordan. I can't lose anyone else." 

The room fell silent, everyone looking at each other for guidance on what to say. "I'm sorry." Brendon murmured earnestly. 

Josh stayed sat, staring at his hands, gripping each other for comfort under the table. "It's fine." He whispered, barely audible. "You're off-duty for a few days... until I figure out what we're gonna do. You're free to go."

Everyone filed out, afraid to disobey their order. Except Tyler. He wasn't exactly sure why he was still stood there, or what he thought he was gonna do, but he found himself walking over to the man slouched at the table and trying to string together a sentence that wasn't full of verbal abuse. "Hey", was all he could seem to manage. After gaining no reply, he pressed on. "Look, I know it's not my place to ask, and I'm probably the last person you wanna talk to right now but... I think I get it... in my own way." Still gauging no response, he planned his exit. "That's all I wanted to say, so-."

"Sit." Josh spoke, his voice coarse, weak. 

Tyler warily obeyed, taking a seat next to the man.

"You should know. Everyone else does. I was stupid enough to think that they cared about Jordan's legacy as much as I do. He was _my_ brother - still is, always will be... but he was a part of _our_ family. I think they're forgetting." Josh said, still not raising his head from it's slouched position.

"They're moving on. It's hard but you have to do it, or you'll go insane." Tyler offered.

"No. They're holding a grudge. They think it's his fault - his fault that we're back here." Josh said, his voice raising slightly.

"What happened?"

The man took a deep breath, raising his head and looking straight ahead, towards the door. "He was one of us, the only blood relative I knew I had. He escaped with us the first time. He was the reason we got out, that everything worked so flawlessly. We all agreed that once we were out, the only way to stay hidden, was to stay apart. So we all went off and led our seperate lives, Brendon and Sarah, Pete and Patrick, Debby and Ashley, my brother... and me. I don't know why I didn't stick with him... I thought it would increase our chances of staying under the radar. I didn't see any of them that whole time. Little did I know, that whilst we were apart, it was hitting him harder than the rest of us. They were getting to him, the Bishops, all the things they did to us, the roots they'd buried in his mind. You know, I almost didn't answer when I got a call from his cell that night. I was with a girl, and I thought it was weird that he was calling because he hadn't in so long - he was probably just drunk and getting sentimental - but I did. But the voice on the other end wasn't him. It was a paramedic sat with him in an ambulance on the way to the nearest hospital because my brother had-." He shook his head, letting his gaze fall to his hands again. 

"We were the only ones at the funeral." He continued after a while. "He hadn't made any new friends, and we didn't have any family. To be honest, I was surprised even they showed up, it'd been so long. But it proved my point... we were too close together, even for an hour or so, and they found us - didn't even let us finish the service... he wasn't even in the ground yet. We all felt too defeated to fight, and now we're back here, and they blame him." He finally turned his head to look at the brunette sat beside him. "So we have to get out. Because I never got to say a real goodbye to the only person who ever truly cared about me... But you know how that feels, right?"

Tyler blinked. He didn't think he knew how to talk about it yet. "J-Jenna. I loved her with every part of me. I could've saved her. I'll never forgive myself." 

"Gerard told me what happened. Is she who you hear?" 

"Yeah. I think she warned me about you."

Josh breathed in amusement. "Warned you?"

"She told me there was someone coming, that he'd been looking for me this whole time, and that he was gonna save us all." 

"Well I'm glad at least one person's got a little faith in me." The yellow haired man chuckled. 

"They've got faith in you Josh, they're just scared. Honestly, so am I. I'm scared to give up control, I'm scared to trust someone, they make it so fucking hard to trust people in here. I had Jenna, and they took her from me. Now I have no one. Part of me thinks it's best to keep it that way - I'd have no one to worry about, no one to disappoint. But I'd also have no reason to keep living. And she wants me to stay alive."

"So what are you gonna do?" Josh spoke gently.

"I haven't quite decided yet." Tyler whispered. "But I think I trust you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> told u it was trash.


	5. right, alpha?

"Okay, so when they're charging at you, you gotta be prepared right? If you're not ready, you're down off the bat... I'd like to think that's obvious, but Mikey's a bit slow, and Pete thinks with his dick." 

"Hey!" The two mocked men shouted in unison, earning a laugh from the rest of the group.

Everyone was recieving a mandatory 'combat lesson' from Gerard. Tyler thought there were other's within the group that were probably more qualified, including himself, but Gerard insisted, that as he was a 'guard', he'd been trained in official DEMA combat, so he knew how to take them down whilst sustaining as little injury as possible. Tyler however, was not convinced. He'd never seen Gerard use any force with prisoners before, whereas other guards beat up captives for sport - maybe it was because Gerard himself was a rebel - but Tyler could think a few prisoners that he wouldn't mind teaching a fairly violent lesson. On the plus side, Gerard's mean sense of humour amused him.

"Now, I'm gonna teach you how to punch properly. For people like dear Brendon here, punching comes as second nature, but also generally hurts them more than the people they're trying to hurt."

"Fuck you." Brendon retorted.

"So when you hit someone, palm open. Fist, you're gonna break your fucking hand. Same with kicking, hit your target with the bottom of your foot. If your toes hit something with that much force, you got broken fuckin toes and then you can't walk and it becomes another problem that we don't need. If you got a gun, don't run in there  holding it like you're robbing a fucking gas station. Keep it upright. Sideways, you're holding it wrong - your elbow isn't locked, you pull the trigger, the gun hits you in the face - thus, hurting you more than the person you're trying to hurt... once again; Brendon."

"Gerard I will walk out of here." Brendon threatened, earning another laugh from the group.

"And miss what you came here for? Don't you wanna fight someone Brendon?"

"Is that a challenge?"

"Fight me. If you win, I promise not to point out your obvious douchiness anymore."

Brendon threw the first punch, his closed fist flying towards Gerard's face in a swift but unsuccessful movement.

"Open palm, fucker." Gerard yelled, catching Brendon's fist in his left hand whilst sending the palm of his right into contact with his opponent's nose, immediately sending Brendon flying backwards onto the mat on the floor.

"Ow." Brendon spoke nasally, blood seeping through the gaps between his fingers as he clutched his nose. "That fucking hurt."

"I told you it was more effective. Also, if someone catches your fist like that they can break your arm in one movement. Open. Fucking. Palm."

Brendon pushed himself up off of the floor and charged at the man, throwing himself into Gerard's lower abdomen and launching him over his shoulder. Gerard landed with a thud on the ground, and laid there for a few seconds, gasping. Brendon walked over to him, standing above the red haired man on the floor. "Open. Fucking. Palm." He repeated, gloating.

Gerard laid there for a moment longer before kicking Brendon swiftly in the balls, sending the black haired man into a heap on the floor. He got up, walking over to his enemy and placing a hand around his neck. "You stole my fucking tag line, didn't even have the common courtesy to use it in the right fucking context. Which, if you were wondering, would be now. Weak." He stayed there until Brendon began to frantically hit his arm, tapping out. After standing up, he helped Brendon to his feet and asked Hayley to tend to his (probaby broken) nose. "Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is a low-blow. But, if you can go for the balls, always go for the balls. Who's next?"

Tyler sat for a couple hours (under strict orders from Hayley to sit out of combat) watching various combinations of people fight, until Gerard called his name.

"Hey Tyler. It's your turn."

"You want me to fight you?" He questioned, looking at the man blankly.

"No. No no no. Seeing as we have two Alphas here, both that think they deserve to lead us, I think we should have a little contest to see who is truly worthy of our undying trust and loyalty. You're gonna fight Josh."

The room fell silent, and Josh's voice was the only sound. "C'mon man, give the guy a break, Andre got him good."

"It's fine." Tyler retorted. "I could take you with more than just a couple of broken ribs."

"Tyler I don't think you should-" Hayley interjected, a concerned look on her face.

"Hayley, you can be my doctor outside of this room. But in this room we're rebels," he turned to look at Josh, "we fight."

Josh's frown turned into a smirk. "Oh really?"

"Don't be a pussy Joshua."

Josh ran at Tyler suddenly, grabbing him around his stomach. Locking his legs around Tyler's calf, he soon had the smaller boy on the ground. He moved up the brunette's body, until he was straddling Tyler's chest, pinning him to the ground. "Omega." He spoke, his voice low, almost a growl.

Tyler took matters into his own hands, flipping them over so he could straddle the yellow-haired man, he gently pressed his thumb and forefinger into Josh's neck, cutting off the oxygen flow just long enough to lean down to his ear and whisper one word. "Alpha." For a moment, it felt like everyone else was gone, the feeling of Josh's neck under his fingers, and his body underneath Tyler's, sent shivers down the smaller boy's spine. But the feeling was gone before it came as Tyler shook it off, immediately getting up from the floor and rejoining the group.

"Wow." Debby spoke. "You got some skills Joseph."

"Yeah well, I'm sure Josh was taking it easy on me." He locked eyes with his opponent. "Right, _Alpha_?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *numerous voice cracks* IT'S THE START OF SOMETHING NEW, IT FEELS SO RIGHT TO BE HERE WITH YOU - OHOH - AND NOW LOOKING IN YOUR EYES I FEEL IN MY - FEEL IN MY HEAAAART - THE START OF SOMETHING NEW.


	6. underneath it, there's hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is (kinda) a filler chapter

 "Hey Tyler, wake up." Hayley whispered, patting his head with a wet cloth.

 Tyler opened eyes to see Hayley stood by the side of his bed, dipping the towel in a bowl of water before reapplying it to his head. "Hayley... what are you doing?"

 "You had a fever... You shouldn't have fought Josh yesterday."

 "Yeah..." Tyler spoke, pushing himself into a sitting position, groaning as a sharp pain radiated through his chest. "I won though."

 "You also halted the healing process. It's not wise Tyler. You need to be on top form if we're gonna get out of here." She lectured.

 Tyler rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine. I'm sorry."

 She laughed quietly to herself. "Honestly, you boys. You either think with your fists or your dick. Or in your case, a little bit of both."

 Tyler frowned, furrowing his eyebrows. "What?"

 "Everyone saw it Tyler. You two lost yourselves for a second there didn't you?"

 "I don't know what you're talking about." Tyler retorted, although he couldn't deny that he'd felt _something_ yesterday. He didn't recognise the feeling, it wasn't something he'd ever felt with Jenna, and it sure as hell wasn't something he was expecting to feel.

 "No, you wouldn't, would you." Hayley gave him a knowing smile. "Come on, Josh called a meeting."

 -

 "Agonalia is in ten weeks." Josh started, looking around the room. "Meaning we have ten weeks to get everything perfectly prepared."

 "Wait." Tyler interjected, looking over at the yellow haired man. "We're doing this on Agonalia?"

 "Yeah. It gives us the best chance at escape. The Bishops have their little 'gathering' and most of the council go there, get hammered, and are out of action by midnight. Means less guards, less watchers , less people to catch us. Is that okay?"

 Agonalia was an annual tradition within DEMA. It celebrated the Bishops, and the 'sacrifice' they made to create a place where they could 'protect' citizens from the outside  world. Tyler thought it was complete bullshit, but Jenna had had a way of making it the most magical night of the year. When they were younger, they were always kept inside on the night of Agonalia, brought into their rooms before  curfew and ordered to stay put for the rest of the night. This was all Tyler knew of the evening until at 16, his best friend Jenna snuck into his room past midnight and together they bravely walked where no kid had gone before.

  _Walking through the centre past curfew on any other night was a challenge to say the least - the guards patrolled all twenty-four hours of the day, and the watch tower was especially active at night. But as Tyler looked around him, he saw no one, no guards, no watchers, the watch tower light wasn't even lit. It was just him and Jenna. They walked towards the tower and heard the faint sound of music coming from inside. Any sign of joy being a rarity within their dreary lives, they hung around outside and listened... until the sound of the door opening made them jump out of their skin. Hiding behind a wall, they saw a guard stumble out of the door, puke on the ground and stumble back in._

_When he was clear out of sight, Jenna spoke. "What the hell is going on?"_

  _Almost on cue, a raucous cheer sounded from inside the tower and Tyler started laughing. "Are they partying. What the fuck?"_

  _"Of course they are." Jenna started, speaking like she'd just been enlightened. "When this was pure, the first Bishops would've actually made a sacrifice, and they would've celebrated their success with the people they actually protected. Now it's tainted, they'd wanna celebrate it in the most corrupt way possible. So they lock the tower, get black-out drunk, and cheer at the thought of all the lives they've ruined."_

 " _You think he was drunk?" Tyler scoffed._

 " _Tyler did you see him? He could barely walk. I bet they're all in there... that's why none of them are patrolling." She was buzzing, the excitment audible in her tone. Tyler couldn't quite figure out why._

  _"So where does that leave us?" He asked, trying to work out why she was so happy about a tower full of drunken guards._

  _"With one night a year where we can do whatever the fuck we want."_

 After that, Agonalia became their night. They'd dance in the streets to the music of the tower, sneak into the church and get drunk off of the festival wine, and eventually give themselves to each other in the grass under lantern light. It became the only night of the year where Tyler felt truly alive, and the one time they could be themselves without fear of being caught by the Bishops.

 "Y-yeah... of course." Tyler stuttered, trying to break himself out of his trance. He knew it was the best possible way to escape, but he also knew that it would be the first night of Agonalia that he hadn't spent with Jenna. Maybe it was a good thing, at least he'd be distracted.

 "Ten weeks then. It needs to be perfect."

 -

 "Why didn't I ever see you before?"  After the meeting, everyone left - except for Tyler, who sat on a table at the back of the room as Josh made sure all the plans were flawlessly hidden.

 "What?" Josh turned to look at him, a questioning frown on his face.

 "If you only escaped five years ago, and I've been here my whole life... then why didn't I see you before you left?"

 "You probably did, you just can't remember. We were just more faces." He laughed, brushing the subject off.

 "I remember faces Josh. I could tell you the names of like ninety-eight percent of the people in here." Tyler persisted.

 "Well maybe we were the missing two percent?" Josh replied bluntly.

 "I can tell you're lying. Why won't you tell me the truth? I thought you wanted me to trust you."

 Josh sighed, finally turning to look at the stubborn brunette. "Fine." He walked over to the table and sat down next to Tyler. "The reason you never saw us, the reason we escaped, and the reason that we're all so fucked up... is because we were raised in the Underground."

 "The Underground? What?" Tyler questioned.

 "Under all this... like literally under the ground we're on, there's a bunch of cells. You can only access them through the Bishops' quarters. It's where they leave people to rot, only opening the door to torture them for days on end."

 "Wait, you were raised there?"

 "When I said I didn't know our family - mine and Jordan's, I did." He couldn't look at Tyler, just sat their playing with a loose thread on his jeans. "A few weeks after Jordan was born, when I was six, guards invaded the rebel camps - the Trenches. They rounded up all the kids, made us watch whilst they murdered our parents and then carted us off to the Underground. They didn't want us mixing with the kids up top because they were scared we'd influence them - make 'em like us. So instead they locked us up in the dark and made us go without food for 3 weeks. We weren't allowed to see each other. They wouldn't tell us where we were, who they were and why they'd killed our families. We were just left. I sat in my cell and listened to my baby brother, who couldn't have been more than two months old, screaming for his mom, for food, just for _something_. I didn't think he'd survive. I would've given my life to just show him that there was still someone there that could care for him... but they wouldn't let me out." …

"It was that way for years, until we got old enough that stripping us of our dignity was more entertaining. I was 16 the first time it happened. They came into my room with knives, hung me from the ceiling by my hands and carved symbols into my body. Then they left me to bleed out. It got worse after that. I didn't know who was alive, who was dead. I heard screams but after a while they all just blurred into one constant, dull sound of pain. When they finally let us see each other... Jordan didn't remember me. All he thought he knew about me was that I was the reason we were in there, that we were being punished, that our families were killed, because of me. He tried to kill me himself, Brendon and Pete pulled only just stopped him. Y'know, if you get deep enough into someone's mind, you can make them believe anything you want them to. It took me six months to convince Jordan that I was his brother, and that I was just as clueless about the things we'd been through as he was." Tyler saw a tear fall onto the man's hands.

 "They never stopped to tell us." He continued. "They never even stopped to think that, if we weren't conditioned to believe we were criminals... then maybe we wouldn't have acted as such. DEMA is a prison, but underneath it there's Hell. If they'd just put us up top, we probably would've left it alone... I mean, we were kids - at least we would've been able to forget it and move on. But you see the thing is Tyler, that they're so caught up in their ways of power and pain that they don't realise how fucking stupid and pointless it all is. But we do. And we have warmth and love and fire and passion, and the things they never taught us because we don't need them." He got up from the table and stood in front of Tyler, taking the brunette's face in his hands. "We just need each other."

 Tyler could feel Josh's breath against his cheek, see they way his pupils were dilating, and with that the feeling was back again, the unfamiliar feeling. Tyler knew what Josh meant about the fire, and in that moment he felt like every bone in his body was taken by it, and he never wanted it to leave. If only he could figure out what was causing it.


	7. you're meant for each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of many smut orientated chapters

_He woke up in the field again. It had been a while since he'd visited but as hoped, she was still there._

_"Jenna." He spoke, barely audible._

_She turned round to face him. She was wearing a white night dress, still looking more alive than ever. "Hey Ty."_

_"It's been too long Jen."_

_"Yeah. I thought I should give you some time."_

_"Time? Time for what?"_

_"I doesn't matter. I'm here now."_

_He nodded, taking a step towards her and opening his arms to take her in. She wrapped her arms around him all the same, and she smelt like magnolias. After a while she spoke again. "I need you to listen to me Tyler."_

_"What's up?" He questioned._

_"You need to move on."_

_He held her at arms length, looking at her with a frown. "What?"_

_"I wanted a life with you, but they took that from us. So now you have to live for both of us, and you can't do that if you're spending all your time in your head, with me. As much as I'd like you to stay, to keep you here, I can't - it would be selfish of me to take your life away from you. And I know that as long as I'm here, I'm a distraction to you... so I need to go too."_

_"Jenna don't do this. You don't have to-." Tyler interjected._

_"It's okay Ty. It's been three months since I left. You don't need me like you used to. And... you have someone else to take care of you now."_

_"Take care of me? What do you mean? Who's gonna 'take care of me'?"_

_"You know." She said with a smirk. "Or maybe I could show you? Come here." She leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed him delicately, one hand on his cheek and the other lightly tracing circles on the back of his neck._

_His hands lightly gripped her waist, pressing his fingertips into her flesh. "Or maybe..." He whispered, leaning down to kiss her neck. "If you're so set on leaving..." He moved, nipping at the other side. "One last time..." He lifted the hem of her dress with his fingers, lifting it over her head to reveal her body, naked, and just as he remembered it. "I could take care of you?"_

_She looked up at him, her innocent eyes saying all that needed to be said. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her, desperately, needily, in all the ways he wished he'd kissed her when she was still alive outside of his head. He laid her down among the flowers and began peppering kisses down her body, leaving marks she could remember him by. He teased her, but didn't hold back, earning sounds from her he'd been craving for weeks. He went on this way until he was working on littering her lower abdomen with hickeys and heard her whisper something._

_"You're meant for each other."_

_He looked up to question her, but was met with a different face entirely. Josh, worked up and sweaty, covered in the marks he'd left on Jenna._

And then he woke up with a jolt, but thankfully, no Hayley in sight. He was however, burdened with boner that very rarely made an appearance anymore, and so, not wanting to let the opportunity go to waste, he pulled back the covers and began to tentatively stroke his shaft. He closed his eyes and let his imagination run wild, trying to find something that would help him reach his end quickly. As hard as he tried, all he could think of was Josh, and he didn't know if it was the fact that he hadn't cum in weeks or that his brain was just lacking the capacity for anything non-escape-plan related at the moment, but the thought didn't seem to hinder his mission. In fact, the more he let it in, the better it made him feel. Every new thought of Josh, his hair; the way it would look tangled in Tyler's fingers, his arms; the way they'd feel around Tyler's small body, and his lips; what he could do with those lips... it just pushed Tyler further towards the edge. He bit his lip, relaying the events of last night's dream. Every movement, every sound... it came from Josh now, as if Jenna was never even there. It felt wrong, like he was being disloyal to her... but she was in his head, maybe she'd done this. Either way, the image of looking up at Josh, flushed and sweaty from his touch, sent him over the edge, moaning the man's name as he came over his hand and stomach.

He laid there for a second, trying to catch his breath before he realized what had just happened. "Shit." He muttered in annoyance, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "Really, Jenna?"

-

After cleaning himself up, Tyler decided to take a walk around the centre. He hadn't really been outside much in the past week, and he thought it'd be the best way to clear his head. 

"1201! Get over here." 

"So much for that." He muttered, following to voice to a guard who restrained the brunette's hands and began pushing him towards the tower. "What now? What could I possibly have done?"

The guard stayed silent, just continued pushing him until they reached a door in the tower. He opened the door and threw Tyler inside, standing by the doorway and awaiting orders from Keons, the Bishop in charge of making sure that Heretics were properly punished. 

"Untie him." Keons spoke, staring out of the one, small window in the room. "And then leave."

The guard did as he was told, shutting the door behind him and leaving Tyler alone with one of the many people that wanted him dead.

"Tyler." Keons started, taking a seat at the large oak table. "Sit." He motioned towards the chair opposite, but gained no response. "Well, if you won't engage in pleasantries then I suggest we just get started."

"Please." Tyler spoke bluntly, leaning against the closed door.

"You haven't been causing any trouble lately Tyler." Keons spoke, long, black nails tapping on the table. 

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Tyler retorted. 

"Well for most people, no. But for you... it's highly suspicious. What are you up to?" 

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing Keons. You seem to forget that when you took Jenna from me, you succeeded in taking my one reason for wanting to get out of this shithole. I couldn't give a fuck about my life anymore, and I sure as hell don't have the energy for planning another escape attempt so please - enlighten me on why I would try to leave again. Because believe me, I learnt my lesson the first time." 

"Okay then." 

"So can I leave?" 

"Not quite yet." Keons spoke, leaning forward in his chair.

Tyler sighed, tipping his head back against the door. "Is there a real reason I'm here Keons?"

"Nico is getting antsy." 

"Antsy?" Tyler scoffed.

"He thinks something's being planned for the night of Agonalia. You know how much he enjoys his parties." 

"And that involves me, why?" The brunette spoke, annoyance evident in his tone. 

"Well because he thinks you're the leader and I need you to tell me if that would be correct." 

Tyler stared at the Bishop, trying to give off his best 'I don't know what the fuck you're talking about' kinda vibe. "It's not." He spoke bluntly. 

"Well okay then, I'm glad that's been cleared up." 

"Can I go?" 

"Yes I don't see why not... But Tyler?" 

The brunette halted his steps, still facing the door.

"If anything should happen." Keons continued, his voice taking a much less cheery tone. "If anything should go bump in the night, if weapons should go missing, or a few guards should turn up dead... Then that's on you. And we don't forget. Get it?"

"Got it." Tyler replied reluctantly, pulling on the door handle and walking out, immediately being restrained by the guard waiting outside. 

"Good." 

He was taken back to his cell and told to stay put, his hands left restrained. He walking over to the door and did his best to catch the material binding his hands on the sharp metal of the locking mechanism. He got to work on ripping the fabric and quickly had himself free, leaving only a few problems in his mind. 

1\. The legacy of his dead ex-girlfriend was apparently to set him up with a guy he'd met just a couple weeks before, a guy that he couldn't decide whether he wanted to fuck or punch.

2\. That morning he'd cum to the thought of said guy, who was also the leader of a very risky escape operation, and he really couldn't afford to be distracted by him.

And 3. The council knew something was happening, so now the group would have the added effort of trying to cover their tracks.  
He was hoping he could solve these problems within the day. 

-

"They know something's up." Tyler spoke once he'd shut the door, arriving late due to his previous meeting. 

"What?" Josh started, frowning. 

"The council. They think something's being planned, and they think I'm the leader."

"They think you're the leader?" Josh scoffed.

"Is that really what you're fucking worried about right now?" Tyler retorted, walking over to perch on the table at the back of the room. 

"Alright, I'm sorry." Josh replied, immediately focusing his attention to the plans on the wall. 

"So what are we gonna do?" Patrick asked timidly, tapping his fingers on the table that he was sat at.

"I'm thinking." Josh replied, pacing back and forth around the room, tapping his finger on his jaw. Tyler had to pull himself out of the daze that he fell into watching Josh do such a normal thing. He was supposed to be solving that problem, not making it worse.

After a while Josh stopped walking and faced the group. He had his arms crossed over his chest, his face contorted into a concerned frown. "We gotta throw 'em off." He stated bluntly. "They think Tyler's the leader so we gotta make 'em suspicious of someone else, and get them caught so they're not watching Tyler anymore."

"How are we gonna do that?" Brendon asked, looking back and forth between Tyler and Josh. 

Josh paused for a few moments, preparing himself for what he was about to say. "Someone's gotta go back underground."

"What?" Pete spoke in disbelief.

"It's the best way. If someone is in there then they won't suspect anything going on up here. Plus, then we have a link to the tunnels. It makes sense." 

"It makes sense?" Brendon yelled. "This isn't about practicality, this is our lives."

"Yeah and so is the escape." Josh argued.

"So why don't you go down there."

"No, we need him." Sarah spoke, touching her husband's shoulder lightly, visibly calming him down. 

"Fine." Brendon replied, his voice at a normal level. "Then who? Nobody is gonna be willing to go down there again." 

The room was silent for a few moments before a quietly confident voice spoke up from the back. "I will." 

Everyone turned their attention to the girl at the back of the room, who rarely spoke in meetings, but was always part of the team.

"Hayley?" Tyler spoke, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

"Yeah." She spoke. "I work for the Bishops. If I got caught rebelling then I'd get thrown in there without question, and they wouldn't suspect any other leaders because I have a position of authority here anyway. Besides, I'm a doctor, I'm supposed to take care of you guys." She offered them a small smile, showing the sincerity of her words.

Josh nodded, grateful although visibly reluctant to let her go. They were all aware, Hayley included, of what went on down there, and stepping forward to protect the others was the bravest sacrifice they'd met yet. "Are you sure?" The yellow haired man spoke.

"Absolutely." She replied. 

He smiled at her kindly, silently thanking her before taking a deep breath and speaking. "Then it's settled. Tuesday night we break into the armory... we grab what we can and get out of there whilst Hayley makes a distraction." He turned to look at the blonde girl. "Get yourself caught." She nodded, fully aware of the danger involved but somehow looking less scared than she ever had before. 

"We'll talk more about it tomorrow. Meeting dismissed." 

Everybody filed out, once again, except Tyler. Hanging around after these meetings was becoming a regular occurrence for him. He enjoyed this alone-time with Josh, and as much as he knew he shouldn't give into to his intense craving for the man's focused attention, he wasn't strong enough to deny himself of it. 

"You seemed quiet today... everything okay?" Josh asked, unpinning the maps from the wall. 

"Y-yeah." Tyler replied, shocked at the normality of the question. "Just worried. And now, Hayley going underground for it seems worse than if I'd just gone down for it myself. It would've made sense. If they'd killed me, they would've thought it as over, and you guys could've-."

"Don't." Josh spoke harshly, seemingly angry at Tyler's words. He took a deep breath before continuing, "you can't think like that." He spoke, calmer this time. 

"Why not?

"Because Hayley said it herself. She's got authority here, knowledge of what goes on with the council. It would make sense for her to be the leader. Surely you understand that?" Josh retorted, visibly annoyed. 

"Yes, I understand Josh." Tyler said sarcastically. "But what I don't understand, is why you're so willing to put other's lives in danger to save mine." 

The room fell silent, and Josh halted in his activities, dropping the chair he was carrying with a thud. "You really wanna know?" He spoke, his voice a low growl.

Tyler was too afraid to answer, so he just stood there, waiting for Josh to continue. 

"Because, I don't know what it is, but I have this intense need to protect you. I don't know why, and I've never felt it before - I'm actually quite a selfish person, which is probably why I was willing to let Hayley go underground when I know full-well she can't handle it - I just need to supress it somehow. I feel like you're my most prized possession, and I need to keep you close to me at all costs. It gets more and more intense the more time I spend with you. It's like an animal, and it bites when I see someone look at you, or when you talk back to me. I don't know how to make it go away. But I'd be willing to try anything." 

They were close now, close enough that Tyler could feel Josh's breath on his neck. He didn't know how it'd happened, but he was now boxed in between Josh's arms, staring into the man's eyes. They were beautiful - brown irises filled with something so evil, something that overwhelmed Tyler's body with that same strange, but not unfamiliar feeling. It was just them, everything else seemed to dissipate, and Tyler felt like he was being held down in the best way possible. He was suddenly fascinated by Josh's lips, that he hadn't really been close enough to study before, but now they were all he could really focus on. He wanted to taste them, he wanted to bite them, and feel how they felt on

his, but before he could think about how he would do that, it was happening.  
Josh pressed his lips to Tyler's with every part of the intensity that he felt in his body, but instead of killing the fire, it spurred it on. And so he continued, grabbing at Tyler's body, trying to find any part of him that would make him feel less hungry. But with every movement, every moan Tyler emitted in the process of something so feral and animalistic made Josh more and more desperate, to the point where he had Tyler pinned down on one of the metal tables, leaving marks on the boy's neck that would prove Tyler belonged to him. 

Tyler began to understand the feeling. It was lust. A need for something so desperate, so intense. Sure, being with Jenna was the best he'd ever felt but it was always so... innocent, gentle. This was the complete opposite. He felt like, in that moment, Josh owned him. Tyler could feel the animal that Josh had spoken about, he could feel the need, the craving for Josh's body growing stronger with every second that passed. They had their hips pressed firmly against one another's, their pelvises desperately rutting back and forth, trying to get some kind of relief. It was primitive, solely driven by lust, and anything but romantic, but it was beautiful, and Tyler wanted to stay like it forever.  
But then the door opened, and they were immediately pulled out of their trance to see Hayley stood there, mouth opening and shutting like she was trying to process how speaking worked. Josh immediately climbed off of the smaller boy beneath him, straightening his t-shirt and running a hand through his hair. Tyler pushed himself up in to a sitting position on the table, pulling his shirt over his crotch to hide the tent in his pants. Neither of them had cum, but Tyler knew they would have if Hayley had walked in even a second later.

"I- I knocked." She stuttered, turning and walking out of the room, shutting the door behind her. 

"Shit." Tyler mumbled, with a guilty conscience and a hard-on that felt like it was about to burst out of his jeans. "I was supposed to be getting rid of that problem."

"Yeah," Josh spoke breathlessly, "me too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> zer u go


	8. people die when you get distracted tyler

Tyler hadn't felt this frustrated in weeks. He couldn't stop thinking about yesterday's encounter with Josh, and apparently neither could his dick, judging by the fact that it was pretty much constantly hard. Despite the discomfort though, Tyler couldn't bring himself to deal with it - he didn't want to cum anywhere except under Josh's touch, and he didn't think Josh would want him too either. So he hid away, trying to psych himself up for seeing Josh at the meeting later that day.

They hadn't really spoken much after Hayley caught them red-handed. It wasn't awkward, just not right anymore, and Tyler hoped the craving he was feeling for them to continue was mutual. He just had to force himself through the worried thoughts in his head. He'd never done anything with a guy before, so he didn't really know how it worked, and after only knowing Josh for a few weeks, he wasn't really sure how the man would deal with the situation. As long as they discussed it, Tyler could put his mind at rest, but he also couldn't deny that talking with Josh was the last thing on his mind.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts and he cautiously walked over, knowing there were only a few people that would knock, and Josh was one of them. But he opened the door to see a blonde girl standing there, a giant grin on a her face and a knowing look in her eyes. "I told you. I knew it." She spoke excitedly, pushing her way past the shocked brunette.

"Hayley. Don't start." Tyler replied with a sigh.

"Come on Tyler, humor me, you'll be rid of me in a few days. And besides, I'm sacrificing myself for you, the least you can do is give me all the details. Something to keep me going whilst I'm down there." She giggled, sitting down on Tyler's bed.

"That's creepy... anyway, there aren't any 'details' because I don't know how or why it happened. It just did okay."

"Sure you do." Hayley spoke. "You two have been playing each other for weeks, you can't honestly tell me that you didn't notice that Tyler."

"I mean, I felt something, but I didn't know it was... this. And I still don't know if I'm allowed to feel it. It's only been three months since Jenna di-" he stopped himself, still unable to accept it, "since she left, and I don't think it's ever gonna feel right to move on. And now you're going underground for me when I really should just do it myself because if I hadn't been so reckless then none of this would've happened." He stopped, breathless and angry - but Hayley was still perfectly calm.

"It's okay Tyler, if you hadn't been so reckless you wouldn't be here now."

"How does that make it okay?" He asked sceptically.

"Because Josh needs you. You're good for him."

"You've only know him three weeks Hayley." Tyler scoffed.

"So have you! And after what I saw you two doing yesterday I believe that you can know someone enough in three weeks to make a correct judgement. So I am certain, that you two are perfect for each other." She offered him a kind smile.

Tyler walked over to the bed and took a seat next to her. "Yeah, well none of that matters if he won't talk to me."

"You don't know that he won't." She protested. "I mean yeah, he's hot-headed and angry at the world, but you two shared something yesterday. I'm sure he's not just gonna let that go." She put a hand on his shoulder, giving it a light, reassuring squeeze. "Now come on, we've got a meeting to go to."

-

Tyler felt as if all eyes were on him as he walked into the meeting. He was cowaring behind Hayley slightly, anxious to meet the yellow-haired man's gaze. When he finally did, he felt as the temperature had dropped sub-zero, sending a shudder wracking his whole body. The brunette could hear his pulse in his ears, louder than any other voice in the room. When Josh finally spoke, it sounded like they were underwater, and Tyler jumped, a soft gasp falling from his lips. "What?" He spoke quietly, feeling the resurgence of heat in his cheeks. Josh smirked, and Tyler sighed, knowing full-well that he'd just let Josh know the power that he had over him.

"I said..." he was gentle with his words, making Tyler's heart falter in it's pattern, "did you have much time to think over plans after the meeting yesterday." He said, the devilish smirk on his face remaining intact.

Hayley snorted, and Tyler was thankful for the shift of the group's attention, who stared in bewilderment as the blonde tried desperately to regain her composure. "Sorry." She whispered, trying to stifle her giggles. Tyler smiled quietly to himself, looking up to meet Josh's gaze, but finding the spot where he was stood, empty. He frowned and took a seat on the table, waiting for the meeting to commence.

-

"Hayley, Debby and Sarah, you guys'll go inside. Hayley you have the codes, right?" Josh started, directing the group through the plans for the armoury break in.

"Yes."

"So the rest of us'll mask up and wait outside. Now Gerard, you said that there's roughly a 30 second delay between unplanned access to the armoury and the alert system sending about 80 guards our way?"

"Give or take."

"Awesome, thanks." He spoke sarcastically. "Anyway, within that group of guards there will be Mikey and Gerard. Now, in the chaos of it all, they can probably bump off a few guards for us, but that in no way means we can be off our guard. We're gonna be hugely outnumbered, so we can't afford to have any injuries."

"Assuming we get through the hoards of trigger-happy guards." Brendon spoke sceptically, in no way okay with his wife being sent into the tower. "What do we do then?"

"Debby and Sarah grab as many weapons as they can and make their way to the 3rd quarter exit, leaving Hayley in the armoury."

"The guard's quarters? Are you fucking crazy?" Brendon argued.

"Any guard on duty will be out manning the tower. No one'll be there." Gerard spoke calmly, giving Josh a knowing look.

"I'm not dumb, I realise that the guards will be at every possible exit. But once we have the main entrance under control, Gerard and Mikey can head round to help knock down the guards outside the girls' escape route, and we can lead the remaining guards from the front into the tower. At this point, I'm doubting there'll be many left, so if we run past the armoury and head towards the same exit, it'll split them in half again, meaning we can get rid of the ones that follow us, and the other half will run towards the open armoury door, finding only Hayley inside. They'll be in such a hurry to obey orders and put her in front of the council that they'll leave us to the other's, who will be dead."

"There's no fucking way I'm letting you send my wife in there unless you tell me with every ounce of certainty and sincerity in your body that she will come out alive and unharmed." Brendon replied, scowling at Josh.

"She will."

"Bren I can look after myself." Sarah spoke in annoyance, rolling her eyes at her worrying husband.

"I know. I'm just letting him know what's coming to him if anything happens to you." He kept his eyes locked on Josh, his voice low.

Josh scoffed, and continued speaking. "Questions? From someone other than Brendon, who apparently doesn't realise that Sarah is a valuable part of this team and not his possession. Anyone?"

No voices spoke up, apart from a laugh from Sarah, and something about Josh being a 'little bitch' from Brendon.

"No?" Josh continued, ignoring the remark. "Well then, meeting dismissed."

-

After the meeting, Tyler was determined to speak to Josh about the night before, so - as per usual - he hung around after everyone left. "Josh." He began, standing in front of the table the man was working at.

After a few seconds of silence, he responded, not moving his eyes from his work. "Go, Tyler."

Tyler furrowed his eyebrows. "No, Josh. We need to talk about-."

"No I need to concentrate." Josh interjected, looking up at Tyler angrily, sending the brunette's mind into a panicked frenzy.

"Fine." Tyler spoke quietly, turning and walking towards the door, before a sudden surge of confidence halted his steps. "No, you know what? I'm not doing this." He turned around to face Josh, who was looking at him with a frustrated scowl.

"What, Tyler?" He said, exasperation evident in his tone.

"Are you honestly saying that after everything that happened last night, everything you told me, suddenly I don't mean anything to you."

Josh sighed, visibly annoyed. "No, of course not. Don't be dumb. I'm saying that we have to wait, until we're out of here, until I don't have a million other things to worry about, until I'm not responsible for the lives of eleven fucking people - including us. People die when you get distracted Tyler, we know that all too well."

Tyler couldn't seem to open his mouth. Even now it shocked him when someone told him Jenna was dead, he didn't want to ever have to believe it, but coming from Josh's mouth so harshly, it felt like someone had just punched the air out of his lungs. He felt a tear trickle down his cheek before he even knew he was crying, and immediately Josh's expression softened.

"Fuck." He whispered, pressing his palm to his forehead and taking a deep breath. "C'mere."

Tyler stood his ground, refusing to run into the arms of someone who had actually just made him fucking cry. He never cried, even when he found out they'd killed her, he'd just felt numb. Now he was bawling like a fucking child at the hands of this man, whom he'd been under only twenty-four hours before, and wasn't exactly sure why.

"Tyler, for fuck's sake. I'm sorry. Please don't cry." Josh spoke, getting up from the table and walking over to the brunette, taking him in his arms and holding him close. "I didn't mean it I just- I told you, I'm selfish - I don't think about what I say and I-." He took a deep breath. "If I'm honest, you're scaring me. I don't care like this - about anyone or anything - I never have and I never thought I would. But then Gerard brought you in here and it's so intense and I'm supposed to be protecting you from pain not causing it but I just can't help pushing you away because I fucking need you." He stopped, breathless. "It's fucked. This all is, but I lost hope when we were brought back here, and you've given me a reason to get out... and I can't lose you because I was distracted by you."

Tyler looked up at the man, blinked a couple times and took a step back from him. "Then let me stop being a distraction." He spoke in a monotone. Josh stared at him questioningly. "Let me go to the underground like I should, focus on getting everyone out of here safely, and when the jobs done, then you can let me distract you."

Josh shook his head. "No Tyler." He yelled, his voice almost a growl. "I won't let you do that. Are you fucking crazy? You won't last a second in there... and even if by some miracle you do, you won't be you when you come out."

"So you're gonna let Hayley go in my place? It's not your decision Josh, and if you truly feel that Hayley deserves to suffer just because I give you 'hope', then you really are selfish." The smaller boy stated, before turning and walking away from the stunned man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um so trENCH what uwu


	9. tell me why you're so afraid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this kinda goes hand in hand with the chapter after so if you wanna wait and read them together the next one should be up soon (ish)

It was late - more early. Tyler didn't know exactly what time it was but he knew that he'd seen the sun go down and was now watching it rise again. He couldn't sleep; the guilt, lust and anxiety running through his body all pulling his mind in different directions - none that lead him towards rest. It wasn't out of the ordinary for Tyler to elude sleep, but normally it was by choice, for the world was slightly less harsh in the nightime, and Tyler enjoyed the rare - albeit, diluted feeling of liberation. Now though, he'd give anything to fall into a dreamworld that would put him anywhere but in his current state.

Everything had happened so quickly over the past few weeks that Tyler felt he didn't really know his mind anymore. Jenna had left, and then left for good. She'd died. Jenna was dead, properly now - even in Tyler's head - and he hated it. He missed her voice; the sight of her face; the feeling of her skin. He missed her guidance, even though it confused him - she'd pushed him into the arms of a man who was practically a stranger to him, a selfish man; someone who was willing to put other people though pain to keep what he wanted close to him; someone she wouldn't have liked when she was alive. But in conflict, Tyler questioned if this was exactly what Jenna wanted - someone who would protect the man she loved at all costs, even if it meant putting other people in danger. This thought didn't comfort Tyler like he wanted it to, infact it made the gnawing feeling of shame ache even deeper through his bones, but maybe he could at least take sanctuary in the fact that he was pleasing her.

A gentle tap on the door broke him out of his thoughts, so gentle that Tyler questioned if he'd even heard it at all. But then it happened again, and Tyler cautiously climbed out of bed, laying his feet delicately on the cold, concrete floor and padding across towards the sound. Once he reached the door he paused again, waiting in silence for further confirmation that the noise was purposeful, and soon there it was again, but this time a voice followed.

"Tyler, are you awake?"

Josh.

Tyler hesitated for a second before carefully pulling up the heavy bolt of the door and swinging it open, and there he was - looking tired and sheepish. Tyler almost felt sorry for him. "What time is it?" The smaller boy asked, rubbing his eyes to give the impression that he hadn't been sat awake thinking about the yellow-haired man for hours.

"I'd say about five thirty."

"Then why are you awake?"

"For the same reasons as you I'm guessing." Josh replied, evidently seeing through Tyler's façade. "Can we talk?"

"There's nothing to talk about Josh, I have nothing to say to you." Tyler stated bluntly.

"Well I do. So I'll talk and you can listen, just please let me in."

Tyler sighed before reluctantly walking back towards his bed with Josh following, shutting the door behind them. They sat down and Josh sighed, Tyler staring at him expectantly.

"I've been thinking about what you said," he began, "about how you should go underground in Hayley's place - and as much as I hate the idea, I think that you're right."

Tyler blinked a few times in disbelief at Josh's sudden change of heart.

"You are a distraction to me, and it's not fair of me to put Hayley, and everyone else in danger because of my need to protect you. My needs in general. I'm sorry I got mad when you mentioned it earlier. I'm like an animal when someone tries to take something I want away from me. I can't control my instinct." He admitted, struggling to make eye contact with the boy who had already figured this all out for himself.

"This is probably the most selfless thing you've ever done, huh?" Tyler joked.

"Yeah, or stupid. It's killing me, giving up control of what happens to you."

"But it's the right thing to do Josh." Tyler whispered reassuringly.

"I know. Which is why I thought - before tonight, whilst we still have a little control over what happens to us - I should come and say goodbye, properly. At least goodbye for now. Hopefully without Hayley walking in on us this time." He smirked.

"You know she's probably eavesdropping on this entire conversation." Tyler laughed, rolling his eyes.

"Let her listen. At least we know we'll be remembered."

Tyler giggled again as Josh leant forward and pressed their lips together, one hand cupping his cheek and the other wrapped around the back of his neck. It was less agressive than before, but still needy, and Tyler was already breathless as Josh laid him down.

They bucked at each other's hips, desperate to be as close as possible. Tyler whined, craving the feeling of Josh's skin. "Too... many... clothes." He whispered, tugging unsuccessfully at the back of Josh's shirt. 

"No." Josh grunted, huffing before pushing himself off of the younger man and sitting up on the bed next to him.

"Oh... I thought-." Tyler stuttered in confusion.

"Yeah. So did I. But apparently my mind is set on convincing me you don't want me." The yellow-haired man spat in annoyance.

"I want you." Tyler stated without hesitation.

"I know you do, and I want you too. I just really don't want you to not want me, y'know... I don't make sense, I'm sorry." Josh rambled, getting up and pacing around the room.

"No, it's okay... I get it. Please sit down."

Josh obliged, returning to his previous position, perched on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry." He repeated.

"Please stop apologising."

"I shouldn't be putting you through this. You're supposed to be relaxed for your first time with a guy."

Tyler giggled, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks. "Okay, so let's relax. Tell me why you're so afraid."

"It's stupid."

"It's not stupid. If it's worrying you it's not stupid."

Josh took a deep breath, keeping his eyes low as he always did when he was nervous. "M-my scars, from the Underground. No one I care about has ever really seen them." He admitted.

"But... the girls-." Tyler interjected curiously.

"Don't be so naive Tyler. I did a lot of stupid things whilst I was out. I was so desperate to experience all the freedom I'd missed out on that I-." He sighed, calming himself down. "Most of them were quickies in bathroom stalls or drunken one night stands when both of us were too oblivious to care. Even if they had ditched me because of how I looked I wouldn't have cared - I was a dick back then, they didn't mean anything to me. But you do... and to be honest, I don't want you to see anything that shows you I'm weak, or shows you the pain I've been in, because you think I can protect you - and I really want to - but I know you won't let me when you see what they did."

Tyler had never seen the man look so nervous, so scared, so vulnerable. It made him beautiful. Tyler wanted to tell him that, but he figured Josh wasn't in the mood to be called beautiful right now. So instead he spoke, as gently and sincerly as possible. "Josh, I don't mind what you've been in the past. If you've been weak, or scared, or hurt... or even a complete dick - God knows I don't care about that one because you treated me like shit when I first met you and yet here I am." The brunette chuckled, earning a small smile and an eyeroll from the man in front of him. "All that matters to me is this... the version of you that you are right now. Someone that's trustworthy, strong, brave and caring... even if it's your own, very odd way. You're what everyone needs you to be right now, and I think that's what should be celebrated. Because everyone has scars Josh, whether you can see them or not, and you might think that they make you a monster... but I think that they make you human."

Josh finally looked up, and even in the dark room Tyler could see him blushing. He'd never seen the man so fragile.

"Nice speech." He spoke sarcastically.

Tyler lightly punched him in the arm. "Shut up." He whined, giggling. "I mean it."

Josh regained a serious tone. "I know you do." He spoke with sincerity, his eyes kind and true. "And I mean it when I say I'm sorry I was so shitty to you before."

"Lemme guess... you were intimidated by me because you knew you were about to get your ass kicked a guy that weighs 153 pounds?"

"No! You cocky bastard." Josh laughed, feigning shock. "It was actually because... you are only the second guy that I've ever felt anything more than platonic feelings for." He admitted coyly.

"Oof. Second? You're my first dude, you really should do better." Tyler teased.

"You should think yourself lucky. I was even more of a dick the first time. I wouldn't let myself care about him because I was so mad and confused at what I was feeling so we just used each other for sex until we hated each other and - I don't know why I'm telling you this." Josh chuckled nervously, squeezing the back of his neck. He turned to face Tyler and stared for a while, the longest they'd ever kept eye contact before. "There's just something about you that makes me wanna clue you in on every little detail of any part of my life that you haven't been in... I hate it. I never know what's gonna come out of my mouth but I just-." He sighed, smiling. "I want you so bad." He whispered, pressing his forehead to Tyler's.

Tyler sighed, content for the first time in a while, but there was a dark cloud looming over his careless thoughts. "You have me... but we both know it's not for long."

**Author's Note:**

> we can only go down from here.


End file.
